Epic: mother of all bus rides

It was time to leave LP and take the not so well trodden route to the far east of Laos, to Xam Neua, in the Hua Phan province. It was where the Pathet Lao (communists) leaders hid during the ‘secret war’ against the US from 1964 to 1973, and I wanted to learn a bit more about Lao history.

I also decided, after almost 4 months travelling, to give myself a budget for the remaining 2 months, more as a challenge to spend as little as possible whilst still enjoying myself.

Just before I left LP, I connected onto an open wifi network with my blackberry, found outside one of the decent hotels. Internet would usually cost 6,000 kip –saving 30p.

Instead of taking a tuk-tuk to the bus station (30,000 kip or GBP1.50 for 5km journey), I agreed to be taken by motorbike by some local dude for half price – saving 75p.

Instead of taking the morning bus that leaves at a fixed time, I opted for an overnight bus that would save me one night’s accommodation – saving GBP20 (was staying at an expensive place).

However, the bus I would take was coming from the capital, Vientiane, and its time of arrival was not certain. I showed up at 4:30pm, bus turned up at 7:30pm, I was told 5pm! The 12-hour bus journey could now begin, but only after we spent 30 minutes getting all the bags and large parcels of God-knows what onto the roof of the bus.

As I got on, I looked for an empty seat, but there didn’t seem to be any. However, there were plastic stools in the aisle in between more bags and parcels, this time mainly of fruits and rice. Yes, I was to sit on a plastic stool, with no back rest, and a broken one, for the journey, with my legs squashed in between someone elses. About 3 hours later, someone near me got off and I pounced onto their seat; finally I was off the stool and could begin rehabilitating my sore ass.

We stopped on the road for dinner. There were lots of fruit stalls and one restaurant. I had met a local English teacher who invited me to sit with him at the dining table. When I asked him what he was eating, because it wasn’t obvious, he said “bees with sticky rice” and continued “it’s a Lao favourite”!

This was maybe the first long journey of any kind where I couldn’t sleep – men and women were frequently opening the window to spit, kids were vomiting in plastic bags (provided by the ‘busman’), we honked our way along the narrow, winding roads that cut the beautiful mountains and hills. Every now and then, throughout the night, someone on the bus would yell something and the bus would come to an abrupt halt and let that person off the bus in the middle of nowhere (probably their village). Sometimes the bus would brake sharply to avoid cows, dogs or chickens in the road.

It was now 6:30am. I assumed we were close to Xam Neua, after all it had been almost 11 hours. However, I had as feeling we weren’t. we continued at a slow pace, honking at every corner, passing village after village with small kids and families watching and waving the bus by. The ‘busman’, who seemed responsible for checking tickets and helping load and offload bags on the roof of the bus, was now busy trying to pull one of the girls on the bus. Interesting tactics he used! This kept me entertained before I fell asleep!

When I woke up, I soon saw a road marker: ‘15km Samnua’. I couldn’t believe it, I checked my watch and it was 11:30am! We finally arrived at around noon, almost 20 hours after I had arrived to catch the bus.

Love it!!!